The difference between fish and friends – a Sushi entry

Having been out of college for about 4 months now, I’ve realized that I’ve never tried so hard before to stay connected with the people I have become acquainted, and very close with in the last four years. I also would like to say that I’ve never eaten sushi as often before now. During my many hours after work in want for a non-sedentary activity* or staring at my work in need of motivation for activity**, I tend to think a lot about a lot of random things. And yes, I do have moments of weakness where I become pretty predictable… wherein I think about sushi and the people I’ve broken rice with. Pun totally intended.

Sushi is a simple dish, but it is not something that you can easily prepare. The cut of the fish, the type of rice and all sorts of things. Sushi in general can contain as few as two ingredients or as many as you want it to be depending on your taste for spice and how big of a roll you can manage to fit in one bite.

Friendship is a simple concept– two or more people sharing a commonality; a gradual development of tastes together, and a niche in each other’s life. But no one in the world can ever say that friendship is easy. People are never simple, but it is arguable that you can fit them in your life in however and whichever fashion you may deem convenient…or deem necessary. Because it is never both.  No one, in a sense, can ever fit that one proverbial bite.  Others, you find, might be as hard to swallow as an entire lump of wasabi.

Now I can sit here and write…or I can show you pictures.

Some people can be really amazing and have all the good stuff upfront. Chirashi often has the fish served on top. But then you realize that after you’ve experienced all that, you get to the bottom of it and you have all this left over rice. Rice is good. Rice is necessary. But when you get used to all the awesome, how do you deal with the rice left over? You’re so full and you think the rice is just a nominal part of the price, but you leave out the fact that this is still part of the dish and the chef never intended you to leave it to spoil. It’s wasteful. If you just wanted the fish, why did you not just order sashimi?***

Rolls are a mix of fish and things that have nothing to do with fish. Spices, cream cheese, avocado, tempura, sauces.  They all work together. But they can either drown out the taste of fish or bring it out. Whatever the effect, it is absolutely necessary that the overall taste is delicious. You don’t serve something that isn’t tasty. But can you still call something sushi when the fish portion is relatively insignificant? Can you still call it sushi if you put it in a foil wrapper and set it on fire? Can you still call it friendship when you realize it’s not what you first expected? Yes, but that’s not the question.  The question is would you. Whatever preferences you may have, no matter how many times you read the description of the Hurricane Roll or the Geisha Roll or the Volcano Roll, you don’t know how it tastes like until you taste it. You can look at the picture, you can analyze the description in your head, but if you really think about it, you’re not making a choice, you’re acting on what you’ve already chosen. That’s what preference means. You prefer non spicy tuna over tuna, you prefer escolar over any other white fish, you don’t like avocado, etc. It’s just trickier and more subtle with people, and  you don’t ever know what you want in a friendship starting out because people don’t come with menus!

Only two ingredients are necessary for it to be named sushi. The fish and the rice. Only two things are necessary for it to be considered a friendship. The other person and the mutual desire to become friends. Obviously.

But you may lose sight of this obvious fact. You may be walking that road assuming that there is an equal desire to become or remain friends, but it’s quite necessary that it is established. In fact, you can get blindsided, and realize that the other person might have intended something other than friendship. In which case, you’re probably screwed.**** Not really, but it is a common disappointment in life that  you learn to deal with, and should the desire to be friends still continue to exist, you learn to backtrack.

So why am I trying so hard to make these connections between raw fish and raw people?  Because I have began to understand the difference between liking something and loving something.

______________________

* This happens alot.

** This too.

***Why don’t you just pay someone to be nice to you?

****You’re not really screwed,  but it does become a petty little problem of distractions and accidental …er…outcome of negative feelings?

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